A note from Wild Card host Rachel Martin: A stressed out TV news producer walks off her night shift and into a bar, where she tells jokes and lots of people laugh. So many people laugh that after six years of leading a double life, she thinks it's time to give the comedy thing a real shot. So she does, and it works! The end of this story isn't a punchline, it's the place Michelle Buteau finds herself right now. She's on top of the world, or pretty damn close. (I should say, she's also a mom to five-year-old twins who for sure bring her crashing back down to Earth on the regular. But, like, in a good way.)
When you see Michelle perform, she gives off a beautiful blended vibe of, "Oh my God I can't believe I'm here!" And, also, "Of course I am here!"
That comedic combination has kept her busy. In the last year, she starred in the movie Babes and the TV show based on her memoir, Survival of the Thickest, was renewed for a second season.
Her new Netflix comedy special is called Michelle Buteau: A Buteau-ful Mind at Radio City Music Hall.
This Wild Card interview has been edited for length and clarity. Host Rachel Martin asks guests randomly-selected questions from a deck of cards. Tap play above to listen to the full podcast, or read an excerpt below.
Question 1: What's a piece of advice you were smart to ignore?
Michelle Buteau: Oh my god, "Lose weight." Shut up. People that tell you to lose weight are never a doctor. They never look happy. It doesn't look like they enjoy good food and or have sex or have had an orgasm without a mirror.
Like, what are you talking about? Not only am I gonna keep my weight, I might gain some weight. I'm gonna gain some weight, and I'm gonna create jobs, and I'm not gonna give you one of them. I'm just gonna show you what it looks like to love my body.
Rachel Martin: Was there a moment when you made the choice, like, "I'm not going to listen to this?"
Buteau: You know, the straw that broke the camel toe, as I like to say, was my wedding. Because all my friends were like, "You've got to diet. You've got to exercise. That's what you do." And I was like, "Why?" And they're like, "You just gotta do it." And I did it. And I lost a lot of weight. And I was like, "This doesn't feel good. And I miss turkey bacon." And my dress was too big and kept falling off of me during my father-daughter dance. I literally had some tequila and a potato and blacked out for the rest of my wedding.
I already found a man that's gonna love me no matter what. What am I doing? And that's when I was just like, "No, I'm not listening to you guys anymore."
Question 2: What's the biggest risk you've ever taken?
Buteau: Definitely getting married. That's crazy. That's insane.
Martin: Just the whole thing of it?
Buteau: Yeah.
Martin: More than having a baby?
Buteau: Well, that was really crazy, too, because we did IVF for five years, and I had a lot of losses and then we had to go down the surrogacy route. So, that was absolutely crazy.
But to think about the person, my partner, my man that I'm on this journey with, where anything can happen in life — to have a person to do that with is special. And I met my husband out of a one-night stand. I just kind of followed my instinct and I was like, "I don't really know you. The only thing I know is that I want to keep seeing you tomorrow and tomorrow."
He was in Amsterdam. I was in New York. We had no money. We would get miles or, like, GoFundMes and try to see each other, and I was like, "I think I want my face to be in your face for a very long time," and that's all I knew. And there were no red flags for me.
Martin: If there were no red flags, what felt risky about it?
Buteau: Because what if there is a red flag later? You're waiting for the other shoe to drop when you're in a relationship. Sometimes I look at my husband and I can't believe we're still doing this. It's been 16 years. I didn't even know that you could still want to have sex with somebody a decade later. People trade in cars faster than that.
Question 3: What's a place you consider sacred?
Buteau: Oh my goodness. My home.
Martin: Can you tell me about your house? Do you have a particular ritual with your family that keeps it feeling sacred?
Buteau: I really pride myself on being the fun house, which is great. Because I grew up in a very Caribbean household with a lot of parties and families and dancing. And so I love that. We make it a point to have people over like once a month or something. And it's a lot of people, like 40 to 80 people because we have a beautiful community, and now people are in relationships and have kids and dogs. My husband and I, we're sort of like community organizers.
But for the most part, we have dinner together every night as a family.
Martin: That alone is a big deal.
Buteau: Yeah, we work really hard for all those plates to make it to the table. Even if it's for seven minutes or 30 minutes, we're doing it, you know. And it isn't always romantic. We don't go around the table and be like, "What was your rose and thorn today?" We don't do all that. You know, it's just like, "Can you just eat your broccoli and tell me what happened at the playground?"
Martin: If a kid eats their broccoli, I think that's a sacred act.
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