AYESHA RASCOE, HOST:
And update now musically. Last week, we featured a list of picks by music critics for their so called worst song ever. It was a less than scientific exercise. Well, we asked you for your picks, and I'm happy to report that WEEKEND EDITION has some discerning listeners.
JENNIFER ORTON: My name is Jennifer Orton. I'm from Kansas City, Mo. And the song that will make me leave a store if it comes over the speaker is "Dream Weaver" by Gary Wright. Not only does this song feature the creepiest quasimystical intro from someone who was apparently very talented, the lyrics or the worst amalgamation of sappy insipid cliches and semi-mystical nonsense. So sorry, "Dream Weaver," you got to go.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "DREAM WEAVER")
GARY WRIGHT: (Singing) Dream weaver, I believe you can get me through the night.
CAMERON MCPHEE: My name is Cameron McPhee, and I live in Hyattsville, Md. I think the all-time worst song is "Wonderful Tonight" by Eric Clapton.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "WONDERFUL TONIGHT")
ERIC CLAPTON: (Singing) It's late in the evening. She's wondering what clothes to wear.
MCPHEE: Most people think this is a sweet, romantic song, but really it's musical manipulation. The song uses its pleasing melody to disguise deeply troubling lyrics about misogyny and codependence. The singer's love for this woman is based solely on her physical appearance and her ability to care for him when he's too drunk to function. This is not a love song. It's a disturbing portrait of a toxic relationship.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "WONDERFUL TONIGHT")
CLAPTON: (Singing) Yes, you look wonderful tonight.
MICHAELA VS: I'm Michaela Vs from Missoula, Mont., and I'm pretty certain the worst song ever recorded is "Be Near Me" by the British pop band ABC, released in March 1985.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "BE NEAR ME")
ABC: (Singing) Ever had the feeling? Almost broke in two.
VS: This song sounds like it was written by AI before it had learned anything about the human condition. The lyrics are nonsense, and the melody is grating and redundant. My husband and I have completely different tastes in music. He's a metal head who loves Dio and Metallica, and I've been a fan of Billy Holiday since I was a young teen, and we both firmly agree that "Be Near Me" is the worst song ever recorded and probably ever written.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "BE NEAR ME")
ABC: (Singing) Be near me. Be near you.
BYRON WHITNEY: My name is Byron Whitney. I live in Potsdam, N.Y. And my worst song ever is "Yummy, Yummy, Yummy" by Ohio Express.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "YUMMY, YUMMY, YUMMY")
OHIO EXPRESS: Yummy, yummy, yummy, I got love in my tummy and I feel like loving you.
WHITNEY: In 1969, I lived in a small apartment. And my neighbors played the 45 recording of the song for hours at a time, every day. That is how I grew to hate the song.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "YUMMY, YUMMY, YUMMY")
WHITNEY: (Singing) Ooh, love is sweeter, sweeter than sugar (vocalizing).
ROB COSGROVE: My name is Rob Cosgrove from Ocean Springs, Miss. The worst song in the world is that 1-877-karsforkids commercial.
(SOUNDBITE OF AD)
UNIDENTIFIED PERSON #1: (Singing) 1-877-karsforkids, K-A-R-S, cars for kids.
COSGROVE: My smart speaker probably hates me 'cause I yell at it to shut up every time that comes on. You're going to play it now, aren't you?
(SOUNDBITE OF AD)
UNIDENTIFIED PERSON #2: (Singing) 1-877-karsforkids, K-A-R-S, cars for kids. 1-877...
CHRISTINE ROBERTS: Hi. This is Christine Roberts, and I am calling from Columbus, Ohio, and "Life Is A Highway" by Tom Cochrane and the remake by Rascal Flatts are the worst song ever recorded.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "LIFE IS A HIGHWAY")
TOM COCHRANE: A love's like a road that you travel alone, there's one day here and the next day gone...
ROBERTS: That intro sounds like nails on a chalkboard to me. It actually makes me physically repulsed when I hear it.
RASCOE: That was Christine Roberts, Rob Cosgrove, Byron Whitney, Michaela Vs, Cameron McPhee and Jennifer Orton, sharing their picks for the worst song of all time.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "LIFE IS A HIGHWAY")
COCHRANE: (Singing) Through all these cities and all these towns, it's in my blood, and it's all around... Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.
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