Ask Me Another
9:05 am
Fri April 26, 2013

Sir, Yes, Sir!

Transcript

OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

Let's get back to the puzzle mania with our next two contestants. Please welcome Danny Fox and Len Schiff.

(APPLAUSE)

LEN SCHIFF: Hello.

EISENBERG: Hello. Len, you're a lyricist that writes musicals.

SCHIFF: I am that, yes.

EISENBERG: What is your favorite musical?

SCHIFF: Oh, "Sweeney Todd."

EISENBERG: "Sweeney Todd" is a good answer. That is a good answer.

SCHIFF: Sundon Park.

EISENBERG: Yeah.

SCHIFF: It was even a clue last year.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Danny, you're a pianist.

DANNY FOX: That's right, yeah.

SCHIFF: So you both have tons of music knowledge.

FOX: Right, wrong game.

EISENBERG: This game has nothing to do with that, yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: But I'm sure you'll be great because this round is called, Sir, Yes, Sir.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: We're going to ask you about common phrases that sound like they're the names of military officers but they're not. For instance, if we asked what officer oversees American premier baseballs teams and served as the title of a 1989 Charlie Sheen comedy, you might say "Major League." But since we take our fake ranks very seriously, you have to respond in what's called a sir sandwich, so the correct answer would be "Sir, Major League, Sir."

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Got it? And yes, this is the one and only time you are allowed to call me sir. Usually, I get paid a lot more money for that.

(LAUGHTER)

FOX: Noted, sir.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Whoever gets more right moves on to our Ask Me One More final round at the end of the show. Here we go. This officer is a corporation that makes everything from microwave ovens to airplane engines and is the former boss of Jack Donaghy on "30 Rock."

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Len?

SCHIFF: Sir, General Electric, Sir.

EISENBERG: Yes, but I'm going to need it with a little bit command.

SCHIFF: Sir, General Electric, Sir.

EISENBERG: That is correct.

(APPLAUSE)

JULIAN VELARD: You love this, Ophira.

EISENBERG: I do. It feels good.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: This officer doles out painful discipline in public elementary schools but only in the 19 states where it's still currently legal.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Len?

SCHIFF: Sir, Corporal Punishment, Sir.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Correct. At ease, soldier.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: You can see this officer's name in the canned vegetables aisle, usually on a can right below the words "fresh cut" and "whole sweet."

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Len?

SCHIFF: Sir, Kernel Corn, Sir.

EISENBERG: That is correct.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Danny, plenty of time, you have plenty of time to take this game.

FOX: Great, great.

EISENBERG: All right.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: If you've ever met this officer, you probably wouldn't remember it since you were then immediately put into a deep sleep for surgery.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Len?

SCHIFF: Sir, General Anesthesia, Sir.

EISENBERG: That's correct.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: This person is the type of investment funding a company has if it is not traded publicly.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Danny?

FOX: Sir, Private Equity, Sir.

EISENBERG: You got it.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: In music theory - oh, look at this. Yeah, get excited. In music theory, this officer is the seven-note series a choir might practice when they sing do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Len?

SCHIFF: Sir, Major C, Sir. C Major, Sir.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Oh, I'm sorry. Len, that is incorrect.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Danny?

FOX: Sir, Major Scale, Sir.

EISENBERG: That is correct.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: This officer wowed the talent show with his rap performance of "The Real Slim Shady" and "My Name Is," which makes sense because it's Eminem's real name.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Len?

SCHIFF: Sir, Marshall Mathers, Sir. Sir, Marshall Mathers, Sir.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Thank you, Len. That is correct.

SCHIFF: Thank you, Sir.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: And I believe Len is the winner of this round.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: A big hand for Danny. Len, you'll be moving on to our Ask Me One More final round at the end of the show.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.